Who’s to say that any person with WordPress can’t write about what they love? Not this troll, certainly, but with a never ending supply of regurgitated press releases, echo-chamber reporting, countless typos and grammar errors, there is a strong argument to be made that maybe, comics blogs are utter crap. They are so bad, that it’s impossible to tell which ones are just fanboys with day jobs, which ones actually get paid for this or which ones just use their blog as a means to push their upcoming comic/magazine.
After all, there’s only so much to write about and so many people who will read it. Just how many different ways can you write about the same ten creators being reshuffled around the same five titles? How many different ways can you summarize and link to a USA Today article about this month’s stunt comic? How many shirts with Boba Fett high-fiving Doctor Who can you post about?
A lot, it turns out.
Yes, it’s been a banner year for this cottage industry. Among all the baseless speculation, scraping mashed-up IP found on Tumblr, and copying posts from other blogs and wrapping them in a blockquote, a handful of comics “journalism” really stood out.
Here are 2012’s most polished turds.
Announcing the Comics Industry People of the Year: Kate Beaton and Dan DiDio/Jim Lee
When Heidi MacDonald isn’t busy leaving typos all over her site and referring to herself in the plural form as if to mean her site is run by a staff of terrible spellers, she’s showering her readers with the worst photoshop/photo filters known to man.
Also voting for Steve Jobs as a “person of the year” because of digital comics is a bit like thanking Johannes Gutenberg for the Harry Potter books, don’t you think?
Hey, That’s My Cape! – COMIC BOOK MEN Revisited
If there was ever any question if Jill Pantozzi was a journalist, put that doubt aside. Just ask her. Journalists know the importance of not shitting where they eat, especially in the case of The Mary Sue not covering “Comic Book Men” while the show was paying for modal pop-up advertising. Fortunately, our deft ace reporter used her connections at another payola-free news outlet for her intrepid reporting. As Marie Colvin once said, “Has boobs, I’m dead.”
Comic shop comics: March 14 (I do get to the reviews eventually, and if that’s all you wanna read, prepare to scroll down 15 paragraphs)
For when Yelp.com just isn’t enough. At least J. Caleb Mozzocco was kind enough to put a disclaimer in the title of this pile-on. It could only have been more helpful if he highlighted which shame-splaining section he liked best for Comics Worth Reading to link to.
Gail Simone To Break The Internet Tomorrow. Again.
If there’s anything more powerful than Rich Johnston’s need to provoke, it’s Rich Johnston’s need to be loved by the people he’s supposed to be covering. Dude, your boner for Gail Simone is super creepy.
'Star Wars XXX': The Porn Parody Is Still Better Than The Prequels [Review]
When it comes to fair and balanced reporting, nobody does comics journalism like ComicsAlliance. Where else will you read an at length essay on harmful sexism in comics as well as a product review from one of the most sexist and exploitive industries ever? Remember, it’s a parody, which is totally different than con-sketches of the same IP.
Best Shots Advance Review: 10/10 AVENGERS #1 Marvel NOW!
Just take a page from Diamond Previews, scan it and post it online. That’s the writing process that occurred here. Our blogger hero, David Pepose, is unleashed in a thrilling new post that’s even bigger than before. This isn’t your parents blog post! Set in a dystopian website, this post teams up with classic Sky Mall phrases to battle it out to its shocking conclusion!
Op/Ed: BEFORE WATCHMEN is a Great Move!
Now pay me. Remember, Before Watchmen's best part is that Alan Moore doesn't like it. By that logic, we should really enjoy Batwoman right now. This attitude that creators rights are somehow a bad thing is right in line with the comics industry in general, so good job!
Can We Calm Down for a Second, Internet?
Finally, if there’s one things that’s always funny, it’s sexism, right ladies? And homophobia. The Internet just can’t take a joke about these things (also rape, depending which webcomic artists you speak to). These posts that play down man-cave mentality go a long way to make all nerds equal. All those racist, sexist, homophobic jocks in high school have nothing on nerds today. It gets better.
And just in under the wire…
Fanboy Rampage: Mark Waid And Larry Doherty
Wherein the only “fanboy” in the article is the author. Here we have the laziest forms of blogging combined into one: copying other people’s tweets, the ever popular “Shit someone famous says,” and proofing errors so bad, even Heidi would be embarrassed.
The only post to out do all of these was taken down and an “apology” was posted in its place (if you count the phrase “I’m sorry you were offended” as an apology). Somehow, it’s lost on him that posting photos and letters from sick kids is bad comedy. It takes a troll to know a troll, and while Rich Johnston makes no claim to be a journalist, no word on his stance on being human.